


Land of Almond Milk and Honey

by RadiatorfromSpace



Category: Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Barista!Loki, Bold Flirtation at a Specialty Eatery, Every Server’s Fantasy, Human AU, Humor, Loki is a Hot Server/Barista, M/M, Prompt Fic, Romance, The Best Dialogue, Thor is a Meathead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-17
Updated: 2015-04-17
Packaged: 2018-03-23 11:15:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3766114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RadiatorfromSpace/pseuds/RadiatorfromSpace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki has the best job in the world: he’s a server and barista at the only low-carb, high protein diner within 100 miles, so he gets to ogle and flirt with all the athletes and meatheads around. But there’s this one in particular he has his eye on, and he keeps getting Blondie’s order wrong just so he can keep talking to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Land of Almond Milk and Honey

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: 'i purposely get your coffee order wrong just so you’ll talk to me again au because it just screams Loki to me’
> 
> It evolved into a specialty bakery/restaurant instead of a coffee shop, but Loki still intentionally gets Thor’s order wrong. Thanks for the prompt, Anon! :D

“Yeah.”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“It’s just right.”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
_“Oh, yeah.”_  
  
“You’ve got a little cream just…”  
  
“Please do.”  
  
“Mmm, all better?”  
  
_“Yeah…”_  
  
**_“Loki!”_** came the manager’s booming voice. “Get back to work!”  
  
Loki dropped his head onto the linoleum table with a groan. “Coming, _dearest!_ ” he shouted at Sif. She continued to stand in the doorway to the kitchens with her strong hands on her slim hips until Loki made signs of actually moving away from his customer’s table. A baker with defined biceps, shit.  
  
Loki was going to double back, but he hadn’t even taken two steps before he felt Blondie’s big, heavy hand close firmly around his wrist. _Ooh_.  
  
“This isn’t what I ordered,” Blondie said, gesturing to the high-protein, artificially sweetened version of an iced caramel Macchiato on the table.  
  
“Oh? I thought you said it was just right?” Loki replied innocently.  
  
“I wasn’t talking about the shake, babe,” Blondie said with a grin. Loki’s heart did a little somersault. “It’s fine. Just bring me a dairy- and sugar-free vanilla milkshake in ten minutes, once your boss is distracted.” _Ooh!_  
  
Loki’s head would normally have twelve different clever and salacious responses to that, but then Blondie removed his hand and his arm muscles bunched and swelled and then relaxed and…uh, what?  
  
“With extra whey protein isolate?” Loki asked sweetly.  
  
“Mmm, you know what I like, babe.” _Fuck._  
  
~  
  
Loki kept his eyes fixed on his process as he made another milkshake for Blondie, but the mental image of him was searing its way into Loki’s skull. He looked like a lifeguard: blond, long-haired, tan, blue-eyed, and ripped. His shoulders and arms were so broad, he seemed to virtually fill up his booth. Loki worked out, too, and his body was lined with defined muscle but he would never be _bulky_ like this customer. He felt a tickle in his chest. Tan on creamy white; happy, blue eyes to green, wicked ones; golden hair and black hair. Ugh, they’re just so complementary. They’d make such a hot couple. They’re gonna get married, deffo.  
  
It’s only when Loki gets home after work that he fully appreciates the effect Blondie has on him. Deffo? Is that even a word? Loki’s notorious wit is impaired by the sheer volume of handsome, cut dudes here, most of all Blondie. When Loki’s wicked tongue wasn’t curling restlessly behind his teeth, the best he could do was to say cute, clever, flirty things to his customers. And he always did. Even with his mind muddled by lust, Loki’s wit never deserted him. It just…  
  
Loki’s hands shot away from the overflowing cup and he hissed. He ran his scalded fingers under cool water in the sink until the stinging stopped. It was disgusting how muddled he got here, but at the moment Loki was too hopped up on endorphins and fluttery feelings to care particularly.  
  
Another muscular blond entered the diner and took the seat opposite Blondie. Loki glanced him over with interest, noting the stellar ratio between his shoulders and his waist. He’s cute, too, but Blondie was just _mm-mm, finger-lickin’ good._ Loki grabbed the milkshake and his little notepad and went over to their table. When he drew near, Blondie beamed at him and his eyes twinkled like princess-cut diamonds. _Oh, sweet Jesus._  
  
“This is that barista I told you about,” Blondie told his friend. “He’s great! Whatever I want, he’ll take care of it.”  
  
_You have no idea._  
  
“This place is awesome,” Blondie continued. “It’s the only place where I can order sweet stuff on my plan. Loki, meet my buddy Steve.”  
  
His heart jumped. It’s the first time Blondie said his name.  
  
Steve gave Loki a friendly smile. “All of your stuff is really low-glycemic? Even the caramel-flavored drinks?”  
  
Thor gave an appreciative moan and Loki fixed his _work-appropriate_ smile in place with all the will in his body. “Definitely. We use only unsweetened almond milk and mix it with erythritol or liquid stevia extract. We also have the nutritional information of all of our standard drinks on the website.”  
  
“Uh…well, how’s the vanilla bean crème?”  
  
“Creamy enough for Blondie here.” He did not leer.  
  
Steve rolled his eyes and studied the menu.  
  
“Bring that shake where I can get it,” Blondie said with a mischievous grin. He wrapped a big, tan arm around Loki’s waist pulled him closer. _Gods, yes_. Loki’s heart leaped in his chest and his skin started tingling furiously wherever the guy made contact. Loki looked down and realized he was still holding the milkshake. He set it down before Blondie and felt the man remove his arm. Loki suppressed the urge to take the milkshake back again.  
  
Steve tried to suppress an exasperated grin. “Right, ah, I’m not going to be adventurous this time. Just a medium café au lait, please. One scoop of protein powder.”  
  
“How sweet do you want it?” Loki murmured, cocking his hips towards Blondie.  
  
Steve smiled and shook his head a little. “Mildly, please,” he said, still in good humor, and left for the bathroom.  
  
“I’m Thor, by the way. I guess I have to stop calling you ‘babe’ now that I know your name,” he said with a chuckle.  
  
“Not just anyone can call me ‘babe’ and get away with it. Why not savor the privilege?”  
  
Thor smiled and took an experimental sip of his milkshake.  
  
“This is great! Thank you. It only took you four tries.”  
  
“Hmm, I need a taste. Ensure I can get it just right next time,” Loki murmured. He leaned over the table and pulled the striped straw into his mouth. He sucked and hollowed his cheeks out, gazing up at Thor from beneath his fluttering lashes. He pulled off, let his tongue flick out into the tip of the straw.  
  
“Think you got it?” Thor asked. His eyes were distinctly darker.  
  
“Mmm, I think so. You like it _just like that?_ ”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
_“Yeah…”_  
  
~  
  
Loki was cleaning glasses with a rag as he watched Thor and his friend finish. The big blond tilted his head back and waited for the last, few, sluggish drops to come to his lips. His mouth wasn’t as thorough as it was thirsty, and so a large drop of milkshake slid down his chin, then onto his throat. Loki watched the muscles shift as Thor swallowed, watched the bobbing of his Adam’s apple. Loki’s gaze fell to the handsome clavicle, then the tops of the twin swells of pectoral muscles exposed by the obscenely wide neck of his tank top. A few strands of long, golden hair fell over his shoulder. They glimmered when the light caught them.  
  
Thor set the glass down on the table. He said something to Steve but then his gaze fell back to the cup. His expression changed and he leaned forward a little, peering curiously at the bottom of his cup. He guffawed when he read it and shot Loki a grin.  
  
Loki blushed as he watched Thor leave his booth. He’d been bold before, but the sticker he put in Thor’s glass was something else. Thor strode over to the counter and handed him a bill that covered his tab plus a nice tip.  
  
“I don’t know about that just yet,” Thor said cheerfully, “but how about I take you out? You like rock climbing?”  
  
_It will be a nice warm up._  
  
Loki served up his number and Thor smiled. Loki leaned over and gently wiped the last of the milkshake away with his thumb.  
  
“All better now,” Loki said sweetly.  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
_“Yeah.”_  
  
Loki maintained his composure until Thor and Steve disappeared behind the glass doors. Then he grabbed a sundae spoon and started scratching madly at the sticker on the bottom of the milkshake glass. Sif would fire him if she discovered him defacing her glassware with stickers that said “Marry me”.

**Author's Note:**

> Same handle as on [Tumblr.](http://radiatorfromspace.tumblr.com)


End file.
